Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Whats wrong with me?

I don't know what's wrong with me. Something is horribly wrong. I am thinking very different than I normally do. I am feeling down and depressed lately, when I shoudn't be. I have everything I could possibly ever want. Well almost everything. But still I feel as if life is just something you have to endure and keep on living because so many people depend on you not because you want to.

I've come to realize that fair weather friends are the ones I normally befriend and then I get depressed when they just abscond and make a mockery of my trust. They run away when you need them the most. I used to really feel that before, now, I just want to know why?

The biggest change in me now is that I am beginning to develop suicidal tendancies. Not suicide as in the act. Tendancies such as not caring what happens to me anymore, doing what I want even when the risks are far too great and having not a care for myself. It is all a whole scheme to make me change I bet. Fate is taking a hand in changing me.

I am sorry my friends (yet to see if your fair weather or not), but it seems the friend you made is changing and if you don't like what you see, I regretfully inform you to pack your bags and leave. Don't stick around because you believe I need you or won't be able to live without you. Trust me, now I know, I will be able to do anything I want. Stick around because you want to, not because of its consequences on me.

Maybe, in the end, Nothing is wrong with me *Smile*. I am finally becoming what I was always meant to be.
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